


BitterSweet

by periwren



Category: Sander Sides, Sander sides web series, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Ageusia, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders - Freeform, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders - Freeform, Crofters, I'm just using google, Logic | Logan Sanders - Freeform, Loss/Lack of Taste, Morality | Patton Sanders - Freeform, No sense of Taste, Self-Esteem Issues, So sorry if its incorrect, i think thats what its called, maybe a bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-02-22 23:33:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13177548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/periwren/pseuds/periwren
Summary: Logic for as long as he remembers has not had a sense of taste. Its no big deal though, he ensures his diet is made up of a variety of foods to make sure he stays healthy. Its not like its something he can change.But... its something he's never talked about with the other sides. In fact he's constantly telling dear Patton that his foods are delicious - he doesn't want to hurt the others feelings after he's put in so much effort to make him a nice meal.





	1. Always too much ice cream.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kumarie5](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kumarie5/gifts).



> Based on an idea from Kumarie5 from my other work Words Escape Me about Logic not having a sense of taste and then lying about it to the others.

Everybody thought Logic Sanders favourite ice cream flavour was vanilla. 

It wasn't. Logic didn't have a "favourite" flavour.

But he always ended up eating vanilla each and every time they dished out bowels of ice cream for one reason: There was always too much ice cream in the Sander Sides freezer. 

The Sander Sides always bought a tub of Neapolitan ice cream. 

Virgil's favourite flavour was chocolate because it was the darkest color. 

Roman changed between eating chocolate when he was feeling more giddy and childlike or strawberry when he was feeling a bit more romantic and sweet. 

Patton loved all three flavours equally and would always dish himself out a bowel that was large enough for at least two people and then cover the whole thing with sprinkles. 

Because of the others eating habits, they always ended up finishing the chocolate and strawberry first leaving just vanilla in the tub. 

Logic's efforts to  _stop_ the others from buying a  _new_ tub of ice cream before the other one was finished were futile. So as a result the Sander sides always had too much ice cream because there were always unfinished tubs that only had vanilla left in them. This was not a good situation financially and it also took up excess space in the freezer that could have been used to store other food items.  

So Logic did the only logical thing he could in this situation and would eat the vanilla from the old tubs in an effort to clear out the excess. This is how the others jumped to the conclusion that vanilla was his favourite. He didn't bother correcting them because he didn't have a favourite. To him all three of the Neapolitan flavors were just the same; Cold. He couldn't tell the difference between the flavours apart from their colours.

Logic did not have any sense of taste. For as far back as he could remember he couldn't taste anything, it baffled him that people supposedly had five basic senses of taste: sweet, bitter, sour, salty and umami. Princey once declared there was so much misery in the world, what depraved soul would add to it by creating savoury muffins!?! Logic didn't understand what he was going on about.  

For him there was a foods colour like red apples and green apples - but they were still the same when you put them in your mouth. And then there was a foods texture, like crunchy or soft, chewy or juicy and of course its temperature hot or cold.  

Logic had done some research into his condition and even sought professional medical advice but it appeared that he was a rare case of ageusia - the absence of taste entirely. There was nothing to be done for his condition the Doctor cautioned him on making sure he did not accidently eat expired or off foods especially milk that may have gone bad and provided him with a detailed food pyramid and explained the importance of a balanced diet even if he could not taste (all of this Logic already knew).

His lack of taste didn't particularly bother him - there wasn't anything he could do so why worry or get upset. It's not like he knew what he was missing out on anyway, even if the others sometimes exclaimed something tasted particularly amazing or got into heated discussions on what the best food was. He pushed down that pang of longing to join into their conversations, it was just something that couldn't be, something he would never fully understand (sort of like emotions) and he should just get over it.

He blinked hard as he popped another cold spoonful of vanilla ice cream in his mouth and started scrolling through his phone trying to focus on the words on the screen and not Virgil and Roman's argument over which was the better Ben and Jerry's flavour: Salted Carmel Core or Chocolate Fudge Brownie. 

 


	2. Um Crofters?

One day at breakfast all the sides were quietly eating when Patton suddenly turned to Logic and asked; "Logan what's your favourite thing to eat?" 

Logic looked at him like a dear caught in the headlights: um.... oh no. 

He licked his lips nervously and let out a drawn out "Hmm" as if he was carefully considering his answer instead of the reality where he was really internally panicking and demanding himself to come up with a suitable answer. 

Patton popped his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hands, looking at Logic all smiley and eager.

Logic felt his face beginning to heat up and quickly scanned the table for inspiration before Patton could demand why such a simple question flustered him so much that he started blushing.

He grabbed a jar off the table.

"Crofters." said Logic holding up the jam jar and gesturing to it with his free hand, like someone might do in a television commercial. 

It should be a believable choice after all he was currently eating toast with the spread on it (he enjoyed the crunchy texture of toast with the soft texture of the jam). 

Patton looked at the jar. At this point Roman and Virgil looked up as well. 

There was a moment of silence. 

Then Patton burst into giggles, Roman started laughing and Virgil sniggered but tried to hide it behind his hand so no one could actually see him smile. 

Oh. Crofters jam must not have a good enough "flavour" or "taste" to make it a suitable choice for a favourite food. Logic's stomach squirmed with embarrassment but he willed himself to keep a straight face. 

"That's cute Lo."

"No its not it's weird."

"Seriously of all the delicacies in the world he picks a breakfast spread!" 

"What kind of person has that as their favourite food?"

"It should at least be a proper meal or something."

"Now you guys, be nice, remember everyone is different." 

"Pocket Protector manages to find the most bizarre ways to be different." 


	3. Rude!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Logan came about to lie to the others about his lack of taste.

Logan hadn't intended to lie to any of the others about his condition it just happened.

* * *

 

"Whatcha think Lo?" asked Patton as he started to clear away their dinner dishes one evening. 

Logan was exhausted, it had been an extremely busy week for all of the sides and this was the first time in ages that all four of them had been able to get together for dinner. 

Logan gave his head a slight shake. Whatcha think? Whatcha think about _what?_ Was "Whatcha" a new slang word he would have to learn? Logic guessed that Patton might be  asking what he was thinking about right now.

"I was thinking about how I could incorporate an oral examination for my calculus students in addition to their final exam into the curriculum." said Logan.

Patton's bright smile didn't leave his face but it did become rather fixed. He quickly glanced down at the empty plates he was clearing. 

"Oh. That's-That's great Logan. Um that will be really challenging for them." Patton said in is normal voice as he gathered some more plates onto his arms and then headed to the kitchen, but as he went his smiled dropped just a fraction. 

"Wow." said Princey his voice uncharacteristically void of its usual excitement and overwhelming enthusiasm, when Patton was out of hearing.

Logan looked at him feeling confused.

"Rude." flatly stated Princey.

Logan gathered he was missing something or misinterpreted Patton's question.  

"What do you mean rude?" queried Logan crossing his arms defensively. 

Princey just gave a dramatic sigh and rolled his eyes. 

"You are so dense." he muttered quietly. 

Logan frowned and opened his mouth - possibly to argue but Anxiety cut in.

"Look Logan buddy - um Patton was fishing." said Anxiety. 

Now Logan was extremely confused - Patton wasn't fishing! He was right here and he had just cleared the table. 

Anxiety saw the incredulous look on Logic's face and tried to explain further. 

"What that means is Patton was asking you what you thought about the food because he was trying to get you to give him a compliment about his cooking." 

"Due to our busy schedules, this was the one night this week that we all would be together to have dinner and you know how dear Patton cherishes family time. So he spent all day slaving away to make us this fabulous meal and you can't even manage one kind word about it. Both Virgil and I appreciated Patton's effort enough to lavish him with our praises but your mind is off in some ridiculousness about oral mathematics!" snapped Princey. 

Oh. 

Logan looked back to Anxiety.

"It was... Look I didn't "lavish praises", I just said it was yummy." muttered Anxiety rubbing the back of his neck avoiding eye contact. "I mean it was."

"And you just shovelled it down like a steam engine shovels coal," huffed Princey, "I mean did you even _taste_ it?" 

Logan gulped as his stomach clenched with nervous butterflies. It was true Patton had spent the majority of his afternoon cooking this meal for them. Roman and Virgil could appreciate his effort but him? All Patton's time and efforts to marinate, season etc.. to make sure the flavour was just right - this was wasted on Logan. 

He-he should just tell them that he couldn't taste anything. That he would never taste any of Patton's cooking. Never could and never will. 

Logan opened his mouth to say something when Patton burst back into the room.

"Dessert time!" he shouted happily "Now there was a new recipe that I wanted to try out - Logan I think you're really going to like this one."

Patton offered the plate to Logan first.

"They're coconut jam drops." said Patton proudly. 

Logan picked up one of the biscuits that had a big dollop of Crofters jam in the centre - the food he had told Patton was his favourite.

Had Patton baked these especially for him?

Logan took a bite and tried to give his best (most believable) smile.

"Oh Patton these are absolutely delicious."

Patton beamed and gave an excited high pitched squeal. Behind him Roman and Virgil looked unimpressed - they assumed that Logan was just saying this because Princey had scolded him.

Logan made a metal note to ensure that he compliments the others cooking more often - until it was believable, it wasn't the others fault he couldn't taste their food. He didn't want their efforts to go to waste. 

 


	4. Compliments

After that dinner where Princey scolded him, slowly Logic did start complimenting the others cooking more. He was doing it so they knew that he appreciated the effort that went into cooking for him.

It wasn't really lying. Right? The food most definitely was delicious and deserving of compliments - these were the facts! It didn't matter that he couldn't taste it - that didn't change the fact that Patton's cooking was the best and he needed to be told this. It was like the word "Pterodactyl" was spelt with a P - that was fact, and that fact wouldn't change if you were illiterate. 

And technically he was saying it in such a way that it was clearly a statement not his personal opinion. "This food is delicious," instead of "I think this food is delicious." So not a lie...right? 

And Patton hearing that his food was delicious made him happy. That was good for Patton's mental health and good mental health for the Dad Side is very important.

So really this was a good thing. And they didn't need to know that he couldn't taste anything. And it wasn't like they would ever find out anyway.  

 

* * *

He did have a worksheet however. But he kept it hidden in a place that no one would ever find it. In Thomas's tax return file. 

When he decided to start complimenting the others culinary skills he jotted down some important notes - not unlike his flash cards.

This meal was;

  * delicious 
  * exquisite 
  * yummy
  * scrumptious 
  * tasty
  * appertizing
  * delectable 
  * like so good
  * heavenly
  * delightful
  * mouthwatering - note to be used before consuming the meal
  * ~~toothsome~~ \- apparently no one uses this term
  * the flavours danced upon my tongue  
  * flavoursome 
  * full bodied - note this does not mean that you are actually full. 
  * ~~OMG amazballs~~ note Princey laughs at you if you say this. 
  * so satisfying 
  * tantalizing
  * robust in flavour
  * ~~almost as sweet as you~~ note do not use - made Patton cry. 



 

He could keep adding to his list of ways to describe how good the meal tasted as he google searched them or remarks he picked up from the others. 

But he made sure not to compliment the cooking too much - he needed to make sure his comments were believable, Princey could lavish praises but not him - he was not that emotive, but it was curious to see that the odd compliment from him could get such as strong reaction in the others, even something as simple as telling Anxiety the coffee he made him was spot on caused the other to blush and avoid talking to him for 15minutes. 


	5. Birthday Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan almost gets busted on his birthday.

Months had passed without incident where Logic occasionally gave out random compliments to cover up the fact that he could not taste. 

That was until an unfortunate incident on his birthday. 

Normally he likes his birthday to be a quite and simple low key affair. The only one who understands that sentiment is Virgil. Logic thinks that Princey literally can not mentally process the words low key and birthday party in the same sentence. And neither can Patton apparently, after Patton came to Logan to ask what sort of foods he wanted done for his special birthday dinner and special snacks of his birthday party and special birthday brunch and special - well you get the picture.

Logic wonders how long it would take for the two of them to hunt both him and Virgil down if they try to duck out of his own birthday celebrations. 

However on the actual day he did find that he was enjoying himself despite the fact that everything was a bit -extra, than his usual tastes (thatwasnotapun), he supposed that maybe for one day a year he could try and relax a little. It was obvious that the others had worked hard to throw him this event, so he figured it would be rude not to at least try and have a little fun. 

* * *

Patton had outdone himself again with the amount of food he had cooked for them all - they would be having left over party foods for the rest of the week. However unbeknownst to any of them, Patton had worked himself too hard and for one particular item of food Patton had made a dreadful mistake in the cooking process. That item of food was Logic's birthday cake.

"Happy Birthday to you." chorused the others together as they finished singing the song as Logic sat at the head of the table in front of an enormous birthday cake covered with candles (not the correct number correlating to his age but he let that slide). He picked up the knife and cut through the cake and was about to start cutting it into equal pieces when Princey cried "You touched the bottom you have to kiss the person nearest to you!" Virgil who was on one side practically ran from the room, prompting Patton on his other side to lean over and kiss him on the cheek. 

Logic dropped the knife with a clatter on the table and hid his face in his hands (he was not blushing, he was not blushing - stupid Princey). Patton thinking nothing off it, picked up the knife and continued cutting the cake and started dishing it out onto plates, as Princey snickered to himself and Virgil cautiously crept back into the room. 

Patton placed a dish with the largest slice of cake in front of Logan. 

"The birthday boy has to taste it first!" said Patton. 

Logan put a large spoonful of the cake in his mouth - it was soft, some sort of sponge cake. He smiled at Patton as he finished chewing and swallowed. 

"Thank you so much Patton. I think this is the best cake you have ever made. Absolutely fantastic."

And he smiled. It was such a beautiful smile that it made Patton's eyes start watering with joy. He was so happy Logan liked his birthday cake. 

Logic kept eating as Patton dished more (considerably smaller) portions onto the other plates and passed them around. 

Roman and Virgil both popped a spoonful each into their mouths. 

And their faces contorted with disgust. 

"Yuk." moaned Princey sticking his tongue out, as Virgil screwed up his eyes and hunched up his shoulders. Patton's face dropped. Logic felt himself go cold, which was nonsensical because there was no change in the surrounding air temperature, but it suddenly felt like he was thrust into a freezer.   

The others pushed their slices of cake away. Virgil even spat what was left in his mouth into a serviette. 

"Patton that is the worst cake you have ever made." cried Princey.

"Absolutely horrible." agreed Virgil. 

Patton stared at them in horror then quickly looked at Logan. Logan felt his insides shrivel up as he stared into Patton's hurt and confused eyes. He didn't know what to do! Or say! How could Patton's cooking possibly be bad that was unimaginable. He realised he still had a mouthful of cake which he swallowed thickly as his throat had suddenly gone dry. 

Patton took a bite of his own slice. And shuddered. 

"Oh boy that is BAD," declared Patton, pushing his own slice away too. "Its-its salty! Gross." 

"Patton you must have made a mistake and used salt instead of sugar when you baked it." said Roman. 

"Oh I think your right, I was making so many dishes at once and I must have gotten distracted and not realised what I was pouring in the mixture. Logan I'm so sorry I ruined your birthday cake. Why-why didn't you say anything?" asked Patton. 

"Yeah." said Virgil quietly "You've had like 5 mouthfuls of it."

Logan felt himself go pale as three sets of questioning eyes stared at him and the half eaten slice of cake in front of him. Shifting uncomfortably he said;

"I-I'm sorry Patton, I didn't want to ... hurt your feelings by saying it tasted bad. You spent so much time and effort making it for me." - This was a stupid lie because-

"What? You thought Princey and I weren't going to say anything?" asked Virgil sceptically. 

Logic adjusted his glasses nervously. "I-I had hoped you would go along with me, so Patton would not get upset."

"Oh Logic that is so sweet, I can't believe you care so much about me that you were going to eat something so terrible just to make me happy." cried Patton crushing Logic into a hug. 

"That-that is rather romantic actually," said Roman his voice filled with a gentle awe "Suffering in silence for sake of another so their hard work does not go to waste." 

"Let me grab some of the other desserts I made, I made them earlier than the cake, so I probably didn't stuff them up - you can take a rain check on your birthday cake okay."

"Sounds wonderful Patton." said Logic. 

They cleared away the cake and Patton taste tested the other dishes which thankfully had all been made correctly (not that Logic could tell). But Logic was relived that they accepted his explanation for cake incident and quickly moved on to the rest of his party. Or so he thought. 

Virgil - the conspiracy theory fan - was not convinced. Later that evening when everyone had gone to bed, he chewed it over in his mind, replaying the scene over and over. It just logically didn't make sense - the argument Logan put forward. Keeping quite about the salt so Patton wouldn't find out and have his feelings hurt. This didn't make sense. Because (even if he and Roman didn't say anything) Patton was just moments away from eating his own piece of cake - Logic could see that.

If Logan had wanted to prevent Patton from finding out he had ruined the cake he would have had to stop him from eating it - he should have tried to keep the cake all for himself or-or stopped the others from getting any -maybe knocking it to the floor or something? But Logic had just sat there eating the salty cake. There wasn't even the slightest grimace or anything from him. It was like he couldn't taste anything was wrong with the cake at all. 

 


	6. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil knows something is up and takes a chance to try and prove it.

Virgil's mind went around in circles. 

He knew something was up with Logan. That whole birthday cake incident - and Logan's reason for eating the cake he was certain that was bull. 

He just sat there eating the salty cake, he didn't realise there was anything wrong with the cake - Virgil had convinced himself this was the case.

The more and more he thought about it, he kept remembering little details; like how Logan went pale _after_ Princey and Virgil exclaimed the cake was bad. And he remembered that night Princey told him off for not saying anything nice about Patton's cooking. Now that he thought about it - before that night he couldn't remember a single time Logan said any of their cooking was good... or bad or anything at all.

And when he did start complimenting the food it was in a forced yet uncertain way - like when he tries to use one of his words from his flash cards in a sentence. 

Like really, when he said: OMG this pie is Amazeballs? It sounded like he googled words to describe awesome cooking or watched that short Thomas and Hannah Heart did together. He literally said the letters O. M. G. with pauses in between. Princey completely lost it and Logic hasn't said it since. 

So... did this mean that Logic had a messed up sense of taste? Virgil knew he couldn't just walk up to the others and say "Hey Logic was lying about why he ate his birthday cake. It wasn't to spare Patton's feelings - he couldn't taste the salt."

Logan would deny it and the others wouldn't believe him anyway - well not without proof.

 

* * *

 

Now Virgil started thinking of ways he could prove that he was right about the birthday cake. 

All of his ideas were extremely complicated and over the top. (Princey would be so proud of him). He thought that he would set up several varied experiments to expose Logan to various stimuli both pleasant and discomforting and record his observations of Logan's reactions to these stimuli and then he would also have to repeat the experiment possibly using both Patton and Roman to enable him to compare the results and see how Logan's responses differed from the others. And then somehow repeat the experiment to see if he achieved the same results each time to ensure he did not receive a false positive reading. And then have the same set up with Logan reacting in the presence of other people and how he reacted when he was on his own.  And - well his thought process just went on and on like this (Logan would be so proud of how thoroughly and systematically he was planning all of this.)  

But. 

But he couldn't go through with any of it. He was terrified that he would get caught and the others would get mad at him for doing "experiments" on Logan and the others would hate him for sneaking around like this or think he was being weird or crazy especially if he was wrong about all this and he could be wrong about all of this that was a possibility and then he would look stupid as well as crazy and then the others would always think he was looking to deep into things - they were always telling him that he was doing that anyway with Thomas, you know worrying about every worse case scenario not matter how unlikely it would be, and the others had just started accepting him into their group and-and what if this is something Patton and Roman already know about and he's the only one in the dark because he was always the outcast and making a big deal out of this is going to upset their group and what if he makes Patton upset, if he is right and the others don't know and then Patton would then find out that Logan was lying about saying his birthday cake was nice and oh god he can't do it this is just to anxious to think about.

So Virgil had a lot on his mind. 

However he was still simply just dying to know if he was right or not. Then he got his chance to find out. 

* * *

 

It was a quite afternoon, all of the sides were together in the living room having a bit of "family time" as Patton always puts it and watching some movies together. During the change over of one movie Virgil decided he needed a caffeine hit, as he headed into the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee he called out "Does anyone else want anything to drink while I'm making one?"

"Make mine an Iced, Half Caff, Ristretto, Venti, 4-Pump, Sugar free, Gluten free, cinnamon, dolce soy skinny latte using mountain spring water and a shot of champagne. Oh and make sure it's stirred anti-clockwise."

"Shut up Princey!" 

"One hot chocolate please my sweet son." said Patton.

"I really _do_ want that drink." said Princey.

"Okay so one hot chocolate, one tall glass of toilet water - Logan you want anything?"

"I will have a cup of coffee, it can just be black no need for anything fancy." 

So Virgil started making the drinks (Princey would get whatever and he could take it or leave it) and was just about finished when suddenly, he paused. This was crazy, he didn't know why he had to do this but he needed to know. Quickly glancing over at the others to make sure none were looking his way, he went to the cupboard and pulled out their packet of salt. Swiftly using a teaspoon he scooped two spoonful's and dumped them into Logan's two toned coffee mug and stirred it vigorously. Glancing back over his shoulder to make sure no one had seen him, he put the salt away and started carrying them into the lounge. 

"God Virgil your drinks are always so basic," groaned Roman theatrically as he was handed a cup. 

"Well then make it yourself." snapped Virgil rolling his eyes. 

His heart pounded in his chest as he handed Logan his drink.

"Thank you Virgil." said Logan

"N-no problem Lo." stammered Virgil taking his seat as Patton started to play the next movie.

Virgil shifted in his seat so he was in a position where he could watch Logan but not look like he was watching Logan. Logan started drinking his salty coffee.

No reaction. Virgil couldn't believe it. He knew it! He was right - Logan was lying about that cake. 


	7. OhmygodihavepoisonedLogan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SO... after much consideration it looks like I am going with AnxiousandParanoid!Anxiety.

Virgil kept staring at Logan as he kept drinking.

I put salt into Logan's coffee and he can't taste it. He can't taste anything wrong with it!

I put salt into Logan's coffee and he can't taste it. He was lying about the birthday cake.

I put salt into Logan's coffee and he can't taste it.

I put salt into Logan's coffee and he's just drinking it. 

I put salt into Logan's coffee.

Oh no. 

Oh my god.  I put salt into Logan's coffee. 

Oh my god. Logan's drinking salt. 

Oh my god. He can't tell there is anything wrong with his drink. 

Oh my god. I'm going to make him sick. 

_Oh my god. I have poisoned Logan._

_**OhmygodIhavepoionedLogan.** _

**LOGAN'S GOING TO DIE!**


	8. No need to be salty.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil confesses that he messed with Logan's drink.

The movie they were watching finished and Princey leaned back in his seat and stretched out his limbs, looking at the others. Patton and Logan were both engrossed in the credits, for entirely different reasons. Patton because the creators had cute little cartoon characters dancing and playing about the bottom and side of the screen and Logan because he was genuinely interested in the cast; "Ah so that's who played Huntsman I thought they were familiar." Roman let it play - he was secretly hoping that at the end of the credits there would be one final bonus scene. He turned his head to Virgil who was hunched up looking over at Logan.

Virgil kept on staring at Logan almost unblinking it was quite unnervingly actually.  

"Hey Hot Topic - fallen in love with the Microsoft Nerd or something?" teased Roman. 

Roman had expected Anxiety to give a startled jump at being caught staring off into space while looking at Logan and then furiously deny Roman's claim or throw out some insults. Roman did not expect no reaction at all. It was like Anxiety was off in his own little world and hadn't heard him. 

"Um helloooo this is mission control calling supernova Virgil do you copy? Earth to Virgil!" said Roman. 

Still no response. Roman felt a ripple of worry tumble through his tummy. Now being off in your own little world was fine for most people but Virgil was not like most people. This-this could be the start of one of his anxiety attacks, thought Roman as he noticed the beads of sweat starting to form on his forehead (you couldn't really tell if he had gone pale or not). 

Now Patton and Logan had become aware of the situation and were looking at Virgil with concern.

"Virgil are you okay?" asked Logan.

Roman could have sworn he saw Virgil's eyes dilate with terror at the question or was it because Logan made eye contact with him? Oh god this was the start of one of those horrible attacks wasn't it?

Patton slowly and cautiously made his way over to Virgil so he was sitting next to him but Virgil still didn't take his eye's of Logan.  

"Son? My sweet darling child is everything okay?" asked Patton "Virgil please listen to me, I need you to breath." he said as he gently laid a hand on his arm. 

That caused Anxiety to give a startled jump, he hadn't even registered that Patton had got that close to him. He gave a gasp and tried to take in a shuddering breath to get some oxygen into his lungs. How long had he been holding his breath?

Roman moved closer onto Anxiety's other side. Although he hadn't realised how close Patton had got, now that he did he hadn't tried to push the other side away - so this wasn't one of those times where touching and being close would be bad and cause him to feel claustrophobic and panic more. Logan got off his seat and knelt in front of Anxiety next to the coffee table. 

"Deep breaths Virgil, it's alright we're here, deep breaths okay just focus on that - would you like us to count for you? Would that help?" asked Logan.

Anxiety was starting to shake now. Princey bit his lower lip there was a strong possibility that they wouldn't be able to pull him back before this became a full blown attack. He hated that, he hated the times when they could see Anxiety getting upset but weren't able to stop it.

Patton started counting and slowly rubbed circles on the other's back. Princey tentatively put a hand over Anxiety's closed fist (his nails would be digging into the palms of his hands again). Anxiety was trying, really trying to breath.

"Patton should I get him something to drink -a glass of water or stay here?" asked Logan as Patton was the expert on these attacks and could sometimes gauge what Anxiety needed when the other couldn't communicate his needs clearly. Patton was about to say stay here but at the mention of the word drinks Anxiety started hyperventilating worse than before and actually reached up and started yanking at his hair. 

"Drinks-oh- sorry - the drinks -I'm so sorry," babbled Anxiety between his broken breathing and gasps for air. 

Patton doubled his efforts to comfort the side, "Shhh, shh it's alright, everything is okay baby." 

Anxiety whimpered and shook his head with distress "Th-the-the c-coffee."

Roman felt his stomach contract with guilt. Oh. Oh no. This was his fault. 

After the others had discovered that Anxiety had suffered from this terrible attacks, in addition to finding methods to help cope when the attack hit, they also tried to figure out what were the potential cause of them. It turned out (after finally getting Virgil to open up about them with much reluctance) that one of the causes were the insults that Roman kept throwing at him.

Now Roman never meant to hurt Anxiety - well not like this! He never realised that after some of their tiffs and bickering where Virgil would sync out with a shrug of his shoulders and a muttered "Whatever" only to go hide in his room replaying their entire fight over and over again in his head, Princey's insults cutting into him like knives causing him to feel worthless and disgusted with himself until eventually one of these panic attacks overtook him. Virgil had confessed shamefaced that it wasn't all of the time and sometimes it wasn't even the meanest insults that Roman said to him that would cause it; sometimes it was the littles things that the others would completely overlook - some not even proper insults that Anxiety would magnify out of proportion. 

This must be one of those times! thought Roman - the drinks! Before I said that all his drinks were "basic" he-he must be upset that he couldn't make my ridiculous order and has been beating himself up about it throughout the entire movie. 

"Virgil - Virgil listen to me, the drinks you made for us at the start of the movie were great - like really great. Weren't they guys?" cried Roman also patting him on the back. 

Patton blinked confused but never one to miss an opportunity to compliment, "Yeah of course they were - my hot chocolate was really yummy and sweet and you made it just right that I didn't burn my tongue at all!"

"And I enjoyed my drink as well. You make excellent coffee Virgil." stated Logan in a matter-of-fact tone. 

However none of this seemed to give any sort of comfort to Virgil. In fact it seemed to be having the opposite affect. After Logan spoke Virgil gave a distraught cry before hyperventilating worse than before. 

~~~~~~~

The attack had been one of the worst ones yet - well one of the worst ones in front of the others anyway. Virgil had nearly passed out from lack of air. He was now cuddled up in a extra soft blanket on the couch. Patton was stroking his hair.

After he had calmed down Roman had explained his theory about "basic" drinks being the cause of the attack, so they were all saying how lovely his drinks were and Roman was just kidding and it was impossible to actually make what Roman asked for ("Well not entirely impossible." "Conjuring things from imagination does not make them actually possible!").

Oh if only they knew. They would hate him. They would hate him for messing with Logan's drink. They would say he deserved that attack for doing something so mean to Logan. He did deserve-

"Kiddo, kiddo - its okay, its over now - Oh Virgil come here." Patton pulled him into a big hug, he hadn't even realised he had started crying. He screwed his eyes tight and buried them into Patton's shirt, believing that he didn't deserve this comfort but was too selfish to deny himself of it.

"That's not true everybody deserves hugs!" snapped Patton. Oh had he said that out loud or was Patton a mind reader now? 

"No! Its not true - I don't deserve this. I'm a horrible person. I -I- _I HAVE POISONED LOGAN!"_ cried Anxiety. Anxiety felt Patton stiffen around him, there was dead silence in the room.

Roman was the first to speak. "What. The. Fuc-"

"Language!" cried Patton.

"If there ever was a time and place for language it is now. What the heck do you mean you have poisoned Logan." shrieked Roman flapping his arms out wildly and turned staring accusingly at Logan as if to say how dare he keep this a secret from them.  

 Logan however was just as shocked as everyone, but he did find that this revelation did cause him to become a bit dizzy. He found that he needed to sit down. 

"...what?" he asked weakly. 

"Why?" asked Patton grabbing Anxiety by the shoulders and the other dropped his head refusing to make eye contact. 

"Have you poisoned _me_?" demanded Roman his voice raising in a panic. 

"I-I put t-two spoonful's of s-salt into Logan's coffee." clarified Anxiety coving his face with his hands.

Logan let out a short bark of laughter that caused everyone else to jump, he was just so relieved that he wasn't actually poisoned. "Virgil - honestly that isn't going to poison me! Don't do that, you actually managed to scare me."

Virgil peaked out through his fingers, "Y-you're not mad?"

"No I-"

"Wait - What? What is happening here? Why did you put _salt_ into Logan's coffee? And why didn't _you_ taste it?" cried Princey looking from one to the other awaiting an explanation.

Both remained silent. Oh crap! thought Virgil, Now I've done it - the others are going to find out Logic's secret and it's all my fault. 

Logan's mind for once in his life became a blissful void - no facts or figures, no formulas or equations and certainly no explanation as to why he couldn't taste anything wrong with his coffee. Except the truth. 

Logan took a deep breath and he could feel his cheeks heating up with embarrassment.  Virgil looked alarmed "Logan - you don't have to tell them - this is my fault-"

"Virgil." said Logan calmly "It is alright. It-it's nothing to be ashamed of."

He wished he believed his words. But - he needed to do this, Virgil had had a panic attack over this- it was probably some silly practical joke like that Whoopee Cushion; Virgil had expected Logan to spit out his drink like a normal person and had become worried when Logan had drunk the whole thing.

"I um well - The truth is I... I cannot taste."

"You couldn't taste the salt?"

"No- I cannot taste anything at all. I have a medical condition called ageusia; I have no sense of taste - of anything I eat or drink. I-I'm sorry, I just didn't know how to talk about it with you. I was embarrassed about it - you know how people make fun of me well us" he gestured to Patton "because of our glasses, you know four-eyed nerd" Roman shifted uncomfortably "that I thought I would just keep quite about it. I get confused with how people go on and on about different flavours that I just can't comprehend but I told myself wasn't an issue. But - but then it was brought to my attention how much effort Patton puts into cooking for us and I was coming across as rude because I never said anything nice about his meals. I should have told you all then, that would have been a perfect time. Instead... I started deceiving you. It became a big secret. I started lying to you, saying things tasted good when I literally taste nothing at all. I-I convinced myself it was all for the sake of you guys - not wanting to hurt your feelings after you had made such an effort but the reality was I was ashamed that I was missing out on something so many people get to enjoy. I don't understand slang, I don't understand fashion, I don't understand half of these theater things Thomas participates in, I don't understand feelings - lets just add food as another thing to the long list of things Logan Sanders the "supposed smart one" doesn't understand. " Logan ended bitterly, his eyes welling up. 

Logan adjusted his glasses and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, the room always got so dusty he told Thomas he needed to clean it more. 

He looked back up at the others, they didn't seem to know what to say. Patton had his mouth open in a comical little "o" shape, a hurt expression across his face. 

Logan looked away, "Patton please believe me. I am so sorry for all that time you wasted on me when you were cooking. I-" he didn't get to finish as the other flung himself across the room and smashed into him. 

"Logan Sanders you are the smartest person I know but you can still act like such a silly dummy sometimes!" 

Patton pinched Logan's check between his forefinger and thumb and pulled it out moving it side to side comically. 

"Ouch." Pulling away only stretched his cheek more. 

"We are all family, we are all parts of Thomas Sanders personality - we would never make fun or make you feel inferior over a medical condition -ever. We love you, I have never ever wasted a single moment of my time doing something for you. My cooking is how I show my love for you guys - you don't need the ability to taste to be able to experience love."

Anxiety hopped off the couch and came over to them, "Really man, after all those talks about mental health and negative thinking you gave me and how much effort you guys have put into helping me open up about my anxiety attacks and you go and pull this on us." Virgil pinched Logan's other cheek and pulled it too. Logan squirmed but couldn't do much to stop this as Patton was pinning him to the couch. They were tugging his cheeks in and out like a long lost Great Great Great Aunty at a family reunion. He frowned as he heard the snap of a phone taking a picture.

"Hmm excellent new wallpaper. I always wondered how you could eat those beastly carrots and brussel sprouts - guess what Mr Supposed Smart One sometimes taste isn't all its cracked up to be. Don't go bottling things up, we work better as a team, no matter how dysfunctional that may be we are always here for each other. Okay?" said Roman reaching down an pinching the tip of his nose. 

"Okay, okay - I get it. Please desist the pinching now." moaned Logan. It was amazing how they could manage to make him go from feeling truly miserable and ashamed to irritable and loved in less than a minute. 

"Wait, wait, wait - Princey take some more pictures that I can put into my scrapbooking diary - the day we found out Logan's tasty secret!" exclaimed Patton "Say cheese" as they looked at Roman's phone; Patton and Virgil pulling Logan's cheeks up into a terrifying grin as they smiled normally giving peace signs to the camera. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done! Yay I finished this, oh the calming sense of accomplishment.  
> Also if you're up for a bit of fun, go back and read the comments for the last few chapters between and me and wisepuma23 to see alternate directions that this story could have gone in (and also how to comment in bold and italics :)


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